Relationship Money Goals
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One thing that’s really important in any relationship is ensuring both you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to long term goals, especially those that involve money, as when it boils down to it almost all of them do.
Whether your relationship money goals involve property, travel or even early retirement, it’s worth having regular discussions with your partner regarding your future plans and the best way to make those goals a reality.
People often see the idea of having a 5 year or 10-year plan as a bit of a joke – but in reality it’s something myself and my husband have always done.
Relationship Money Goals
It really doesn’t matter what you call it – goal setting, dream meetings, future planning ideas – to us it’s an essential part of our relationship and is key to making sure we’re on the same page about everything, especially money. While doing this might not be for everyone, for us we find it helps us focus on what’s important and look at how our money decisions now will impact our future.
Setting Long-Term Plans
Are you thinking about the future – where do you see yourself in two, five or even ten years?
Do you want to buy a house?
Clear Debts?
Retire Early?
Save for a wedding and honeymoon?
Go back to college or university?
Change Careers completely?
Over the last five years, my husband and I have done several of the above and we had a baby daughter too.
Things have changed a lot during this period. Our priorities have changed, our incomes are very different, our whole lives are not the same and we’re not quite where we thought we would be five years ago.
But we are happy.
We’ve made some very positive changes that impact our day-to-day life and although we’ve not achieved all of our goals we’re still proud of how far we’ve come
I do feel that I’m lucky to have a partner who has the same goals as me and that’s the way it’s always been for us right from when we started out saving £50k to buy our first house.
We’ve stayed strong and supported each other during complete career changes and although it’s been tough, we know eventually it’ll all be worth it and is the best thing we could have done for our little family.
We still have lots of goals for the future too, both for the next five and ten years. We know that we want to have another baby sometime in the next two years. I would love to do an English Language degree through the open university. We’d love to explore the world a little bit more – we did a bit of travelling before we had a baby and it’s something we’d love to get back to that when we feel the time is right for it.
What can be difficult, however, is you and your partner don’t want the same things.
Compromise is definitely the key in situations where you struggle to agree what the most important thing or even who should be doing what towards your long term goals and plans. Breaking goals down into much smaller chunks can help make a difference to how we see things – it’s easier to save £10 at a time rather than £100!
Dreaming Big
Don’t be scared of having big dreams, as the saying goes, ‘If your dreams don’t scare you then they’re not big enough!’
Setting huge goals can be terrifying but it can also be very satisfying too. Having specific goals rather than just saving for a rainy day can help focus your attention on what you want and what you need to do to get there.
However, I do know it’s not always as easy as that. We all have different ideas on what to prioritise and what will be best for our families.
When you can’t agree it’s worth trying to have an honest and open discussion about the next steps for you as a couple and how you can compromise or come to an agreement that both parties are happy with.
My tips for coming to a compromise when setting long-term financial goals in your relationship
1. Listen to each other
It’s important to listen to one another and to acknowledge what the other person wants to do, even if their goals are completely different from yours or their goals are very different. Understand why those goals are so important to them and support their dreams, even if it isn’t your dream yet.
2. Compromise
Some dreams or goals might sound crazy or unreachable but you could well end up changing your mind at a later date.
3. Research your goals
Often we dismiss things when we don’t understand them. Knowledge can give us power so research is key when finding a compromise – things make cost less or be less complicated to achieve than you first thought they would be.
4. Choose a Goal each
If, as a couple, you’re unable to agree on what to prioritise, you could compromise by choosing to take on a goal each, for example, one of you starts saving for a holiday, one for a new car.
It may take longer to reach your goals than working together, but if it makes each of you happy, it’s a good place to start.
4. Talk
Saying things out loud makes them much more real and so does writing them down. Keep talking even if your goals change, make lists, cross things off, scribble things out, even buy a new leather notebook cover. Anything to help keep you motivated.
Discuss issues such as insurance, inheritance, and other financial decisions that need to be addressed if the worst and unexpected happens.
Although these issues may be too upsetting to consider, it is a meaningful conversation you would need to have. Be objective in discussing how property and money would be managed and distributed during such difficult times.
You can visit your financial advisor for guidance. If you do not have an estate plan, use Estate Planning Services to help you create an effective plan.
5. Remember; Setbacks are normal
When trying to achieve goals there are inevitably going to be setbacks, especially with financial goals – whether it’s a job loss, an emergency fund that needs rebuilding or something else entirely, remember why you started and keep chipping away.
6. Embrace Change
Things change and that’s ok. Life throws us curveballs that may mean things get cancelled or brought forward – being adaptable and understanding why things need to be different is important and equally it’s okay to be upset when things don’t quite go the way you were expecting.
While and my husband do usually agree on what to do with our money, there are still areas we disagree on. For example, I want to start investing but he’s not keen. So, as a compromise, I’ll be using a small amount of money I’ve earned in one of my side hustles to do this.
